Don D’s Testimonial

My name is Donald D. I am 36 years old and was born in Burlington, VT. My story begins in 1993 when I was diagnosed with polycystic kidney disease and my single mother put me up for adoption due to my poor health and the level of care that I required. She remained in my life, but I did not understand that she was my mother until I was 17. Later that year, I met my biological father, an interaction which left me feeling more confused and awkward than ever, though we did slowly begin to build a bond over the years. 

I had my first experience with alcohol while camping with my adopted family that year. They let me invite a friend and I chose to ignore the warnings of the dangers of alcohol for someone with my condition at that moment, and I would continue to ignore these signs for many years. It was exciting; it seemed harmless, and I loved it. From that point on, the more I drank, the more I enjoyed the euphoric feeling alcohol produced in me. It made me feel more confident and less awkward amongst my peers.

By age 20, my kidney function had decreased dramatically, and here, my life flipped upside down as dialysis treatments commenced yet again, 3 days a week for 4 hours at a time for the next almost 6 years. I was completely miserable, and my only solace was the bottle. I was alone very often, constantly sick or on dialysis, depressed, restless – never more than a short walk from a liquor store. I drank in the bars when they were open and alone when they were not. Drinking had me in a vice and it was tightening its grip.

In the spring of 2011, I was using alcohol and sleep aids and had an episode that scared the people I lived with – forcing me into my first psychiatric evaluation. By the age of 34, I had been to 4 psychiatric centers and multiple overnight detox units. Suicide watches, evaluations and trips to the ER had become very routine. By all evidence, I shouldn’t be alive.

After a long wait and many years of sickness, I was finally given the 2nd kidney transplant I needed. I felt like a new man, no more excuses. I was determined to live a whole new life. I stayed sober for an entire month, but then came the night my disease reminded me who was boss. I drank again, and off I went. 

It was April of 2023 before I sought rehab, thus bringing me to Faith Home in Greenwood, SC, enrolling in a 60-day program. It was here I got my first introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous, though it was only a taste. My stay at Faith Home only lasted 21 days. Less than a week later, my father passed away, sending me on another 11-month spiral.

In April of 2024, after a doctor’s appointment, I was en route to give Faith Home another try. This time, I would finish what I had started, but God had other plans. At intake I told Faith Home that I had an upcoming knee surgery scheduled, and I was informed that I could not start the program until I was medically cleared and off the required pain medication. The person at intake told me to heal up and call him back, and he’d make sure I had a bed.

On my way out, I ran into Kevin Johnston, whom I had met through Faith Home the previous year. He told me about a brand new program opening up next month where he would soon be the live in-house manager. From that day on and for the next month, I called every day, hoping to get into the Legacy Home.

On May 17th, I left Greer and headed for Six Mile. I pulled up an hour and 15 minutes later to see Kevin and another familiar Faith Home face: Steven Mitchell. We were to be the very first men in this program, which was not that comforting then, but it's an honor to say that today.  We slept on Kevin's couch until the official opening date of May 20th, 2024.

For the first 2 weeks, it was just me and Steven Mitchell. The program was structured as follows: the first 6 weeks were intense lessons on the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and the Bible. We learned how the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and its 12 steps of recovery are a pathway to a whole new life, not if we want it but if we DO it. 

Stephen Sanders is the director here and taught these classes in a way I had never heard before. I started to get answers to some questions which had puzzled me for a very long time. I believe it was around step 3, which states,

“We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him,”

that I had an epiphany. If God didn’t work a miracle in my life, I was doomed to die an alcoholic death whether I wanted to or not. From that point on, I eagerly sought God. Jeremiah 29:13 says,

“If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me,”

and that’s exactly what happened. He was the answer to everything and what I had been denying my spirit this whole time. It is only due to His grace, mercy, love and kindness that I am almost 11 months sober.

My experience shows I have never been able to stay away from alcohol this long on my own, yet I am recovered, and He has made me brand new. God alone has completely removed my desire and obsession to drink alcohol, which plagued me for 2 decades. I work the 12 steps to draw closer to him out of gratitude.

I am forever grateful for my time at Legacy Home and am glad God put me here. I am grateful for working through the steps which showed me who I was born to be, that alcoholism does not define me and that my life ran on self-will was the cause of ALL of my misery. I will be forever grateful to Kevin for planting the seed of Legacy Home, for putting up with me for almost 11 months and for always holding me accountable.

I have learned many things at Legacy Home, but the most valuable lesson was the importance of seeking counsel. Around month 3, I was advised by my counsel NOT to do something, and though I heard what was said, I selfishly went against it, and the consequences were devastating. After that experience, I made an oath that whatever counsel suggested, I would do it, like it or not, without question.

In September, my wife of almost 4 years told me over the phone she no longer wanted to be with me. She wanted a divorce. Obviously, there were many ugly emotions consuming me: anger, bitterness, resentment and utter broken-heartedness.

Everything in me wanted to teleport to her location and try to fix the unfixable, but God’s grace kept me here. I can only assume one day, down the road, that same grace will put a man in my path, going through the same thing I did, and I will be able to share that what got me through it was nailing my feet to the floor.

Through an extensive step 4 inventory, I was able to see that, just like me, my wife is sick both in her body, mind and spirit; therefore, my resentment shifted to sympathy and I am slowly starting to do something only possible through the power of God, forgive.

3 days before my graduation, Stephen told me I wasn’t ready to leave; I needed to stay for a whole year. I was shocked that he would have the audacity to say that when I had done everything I came here to do. I was about to graduate in 3 days. I had a pretty good plan, but counsel very plainly pointed out that however good MY plan might be, it was still MY plan.

By God's grace, strong counsel, the 12 steps and willingness to listen, I will celebrate 1 year of continuous sobriety next month, and I’m never looking back. In closing, thank you to all of the men involved at Legacy Home for being a part of my walk of recovery. I love and appreciate all of you. With that, my name is Don Dubuque, and I am a grateful recovered alcoholic.